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If I have been a teeny bit quiet, it's because my entire family is sick. Like ALL of them. And no-one will give me Prozac! Stephen has a lung infection, Kayla has bronchitis and Isabella has an ear infection. (I am absolutely fine, thanks for asking. I just need to figure out how to stop rocking and sobbing hysterically under my desk.)
Stephen and I have come up with THE most brilliant idea - we are going to become Amish! We have decided to leave the stresses and strains of city life behind us and live off the land instead. It's going to be fantastic.
If I were you, I would delete this message immediately. Because really - who on earth needs to know that you can make a Chocolate Chip Cookie in the microwave in under 3 minutes? Ridiculous. Not to mention the fact that it can be eaten immediately - with or without a scoop of vanilla ice-cream on top.
CLOSE THIS PAGE IMMEDIATELY! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
I received an email from one of my readers earlier this week asking if it was socially acceptable for her and her husband to have separate bedrooms. Apparently they have been married for 6 glorious years but his snoring is driving her to drink. Literally. And so I dug out one of my columns from a few years back when I was a (highly irreverent but very funny) Agony Aunty - I do hope my "suggestions" help those of you that are married to the equivalent of a chainsaw! Oh, and #4 is my personal favourite!
People, I have discovered Loaded Cauliflower Bake - a piping hot cheesy, bacony side dish that is the ultimate comfort food in winter. (I also tell myself that it is low-carb, therefore perfect for those following a Banting or Low Carb High Fat diet - but really, I just love the taste. And it's a great way of getting Kayla to eat cauliflower!)
My GFA (Good Friend Allison) put me onto this weekly list and I have to say that it is one of my favourite things on the Internet right now. (Let's just say that if you think the most hilarious things pop out of kids' mouths, they have NOTHING on their parents who post some absolute pearlers on Twitter!)
Yesterday was all about facing fears for me. To be honest, I am more a stick-my-head-in-the-sand kind of person as opposed to let's-bloody-well-face-this-thing-head-on kind of person, so when my GP suggested I get a mammogram, I felt my stomach go into knots. There wasn't anything MAJORLY wrong with me - just swollen and painful glands under my arms that weren't linked to any noticeable infection, but sore enough to pop a few Myprodols every now and then.
I've lost count of the number of people who begged me to read Me Before You by Jojo Moyes. But on reading the back cover, I have to admit to feeling quite underwhelmed. Plus, no-one died or had their eyes gouged out in the first chapter by a merciless serial killer, so what on earth was going to hold my attention for the rest of the book?
Needless to say, it took a severe bout of the flu and an inability to concentrate on anything other than Facebook updates to persuade me to crack the cover. Less than half an hour later, I was hooked!
I have to admit that I am obsessed with OPPM (One Pot Pasta Meals)! Who knew you could cook your pasta IN the sauce? As we speak, Steve is away at a conference, I am man down with flu (Day 8, to be precise - I have no voice and feel like my brain is filled with smoke), which means I am on supper duty tonight. Sobs. I can categorically state that this Cheesy Mushroom Sausage Pasta was such a hit last week that I shall be making it again tonight. Plus, the leftovers taste YUMMY the next day - and there is just one chopping board, one knife, and one wooden spoon to pop in the dishwasher afterwards!
With Steve overseas at the moment (and with Kayla and I completely OVER instant meals from Aunty Woolworths), it was time to roll out the big guns last night. Desperate for inspiration, I headed to the Pick n Pay on Nicol, only to find some saintly ladies taking freshly baked Pork Wellington out of the oven. I swear I could hear the angels singing!